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The Declining Conservative
Suicide is illegal. In fact in six states (North and South Dakota, Washington, New Jersey, Nevada, and Oklahoma) it is a felony although it is never punished. Any rational minded person must ask themselves what kind of justice system we have in which a person trying to kill themselves is revered as a criminal and not a tragedy. Many people argue “well hey, they don’t actually punish anybody.” So I say if that’s the case why the hell is it a law? Is that not what laws are for? So that if someone where to break the law its grounds for punishment. If not how is the law a deterrent? Which I assume is the purpose of the law. The answer is easy, its not. It’s a ridicules law that at best if upheld would degrade the perpetrator and only make them want to succeed next attempt. Especially as the crime is actually attempted suicide so those who succeed commit no crime (not that it would have mattered at that point anyhow.) So what are we telling the people who have suicidal thoughts that you shouldn’t try to kill yourself because it’s illegal. Not only is that utterly insane as that should be the last reason you don’t throw your self off a six story building into on coming traffic and clog two lanes (which in that case should be a crime.) But people want to break laws they get a rush from doing it. People go out of their way to break silly laws. I cant tell you how many times I’ve seen people do a u turn in the middle of a crowded intersection when there is a gas station two seconds away they could have legally turned around in. Why? Because they saw the damn sign “no u turn” and thought “hey that’s a good idea, I need to go that way I’ll make a u turn.” They think “hey people have done this in the past, that’s why the put the sign up.” “So if other people had made the same u-turn maneuver but no cataclysmic event had happened, why not me.”
This brings me to my point that the United States judicial system has become our nagging mother and father when we were all kids. And like many of our parents it contradicts itself and is hypocritical. To understand my point lets get to the law that annoys me the most, Seatbelt laws. This is probably one of the stupidest laws in the history of mankind. So you’re telling me that I have to where my seatbelt because it’s safer. Well let me tell you something when I get done driving I’m going to go jump out of a fucking airplane, miles above land and hope and pray my damn parachute opens. Not literally of course but you get the point. I have to where my seatbelt because its “safe” but the guys from jackass can legally fuck themselves up in just about any way they want as long as they don’t purposely kill themselves, if it’s an accident that’s ok but no attempted suicide that would be illegal. But let’s examine an even better model. Those big burly bearded motorcyclist we have to share the road with. First off, where’s there fucking seat belt. Better yet they are not required by law to were anything no helmet, no leather, nothing. So why is it ok for these jackasses to fuck themselves up in whatever fashion they please but I’m not allowed to make a calculated low risk decision not to strap myself in to a highly combustible metal behemoth. That’s right many people have died from seatbelts. We have all seen the movies the cars about to explode, or stalled on train tracks and whoops my seatbelt is jammed. This isn’t entirely fictitious these things do happen and people really are injured or even killed in part because of there seatbelt. But I cant make the decision that I would prefer to do a head first swan dive out my windshield then possibly be burnt alive in my own car because I’ve become trapped by the very thing that was supposed to save my life. So why is this a law? The answer is obviously soccer moms. Who would like to impose there good intentions on us all, but I say they can keep all there “good” ideas to themselves and the perfect suburban live they intend to have. I want no part in either.
Now let’s get to the next part of my argument because I think we have established that there are numerous ridicules laws out there. Now I want to talk about the consequences for breaking these laws. First if you don’t were your seatbelt, I know in my home state of Ohio, it’s a ninety dollar fine. Which if you’re a starving college student like me means a healthy diet of Raman noodles for a couple of weeks. Isn’t there something in the constitution about the punishment fitting the crime? So for me risking my own personal well being you will jeopardize my health by reducing my diet to chicken flavored slop. That seems like justice right. And just to add to my point I have gotten three of these tickets in my young life and still will never were my seatbelt. You know what really might be a good deterrent? How about make people like me come to the courthouse or somewhere on a Saturday morning and watch educational videos of why you should were your seatbelt. I still wouldn’t where it but at least I would understand the opposing position. But that will never happen. Why? Because our counties and our states want that money so they can pay for more bailiffs, more police, and more secretaries so they can issue more seatbelt tickets. And the whole process begins a new.
This is what most of these crimes, which don’t effect society or anybody for that matter other than the perpetrator, are set up for, to give the state the county and the city more money. It is a stupid tax. If your stupid enough not to wear you seatbelt, 90 dollars. If you’re stupid enough to jay walk, 90 dollars. Stupid enough to smoke weed, 100 dollars. And if you’re stupid enough to drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes we will tax you on that too, something like two dollars a pack in Ohio. Or better yet here’s a good one, if you’re stupid enough to walk down the street with a open container of alcohol you can be arrested and fined. That’s right walking from bar to bar with a cup of alcohol or even a unsealed bottle is against the law and you can be prosecuted. This law is rarely enforced but basically gives cops the right to mess with anybody out drinking they want. What does this law apply to you might wander? Well let me tell you sidewalks, unfenced yards, that grassy area between the street and sidewalk that no one knows the name of, streets or basically anywhere the cop can see you. So hypothetically if you were having a barbeque in your front lawn that was not fenced in and you were drinking a beer, you are committing a crime under Ohio state law. So you ask what would happen to a hard working dad having a beer while working on his lawn. Well here it is punishment for these first-degree misdemeanors can be up to six months in jail and/or a fine of up to $1,000 dollars. That is 100% accurate. Six months in jail and a thousand dollar fine, doesn’t that make you proud to be an American living in the land of the free?
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August 28th, 2006 @ 2:35PM |
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