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Jacquelyn Archambault- Freelance Journalist
| The memories of a happy childhood, travel, and family time is what I most remember about my mother and father before they passed away. Don't mistake their deaths as ones that happened at once. It all took place within a matter of 4 years apart. My mother passed away from leukemia when I was 9 and my father died from cirrhosis of the liver one month away from my 13th birthday. My father was a well established musician at the time; "Fred Smith, and the Travelers." When I was very young my mother and father divorced and the three of us children, including my little brother and sister lived with our mother. At one time before my mother passed away they had planned to remarry; but that's another story. I remember after school one day our mother took us aside and told us she had a disease that made her ill. She had about 4 years to live. Truth be known, it was really a matter of 4 months. My mother, Pat, took steps to find a couple that had adopted children in the past who could take care of the three of us. I remember her asking us if we wanted to go with them right away or wait until she died. I told her we should go. Later however, I missed her so much that I regretted telling her we should leave. The next visit we had with her proved to be a tearful goodbye. She wrote letters to me all the time we were away. They have meant so much to me over the years as I read them over at times to keep her memory alive. Then one day, while living with our adoptive parents, they took all three of us outside and sat us in the yard. They had some bad news to tell us. "Kids, I am sorry to have to tell you that your mother has passed away. That was the reason we were away. We couldn't tell you because your mother did not want you to attend her funeral. She wanted all of you kids to remember her the way she was when she was alive," Tom said. I felt so numb...I didn't even cry at the time. In fact, I never cried about my mother until three years later. Then it really hit me. I was so young and there was so much more I needed to know from my mother, about my mother. In the meantime, while we were still with our foster parents, our father went to court to obtain custody and won. I remember our foster parents coaxing us as to what to say so the judge would not award him custody. I thank God the judge was good enough to not listen to three little children and gave my father his rights. Although I missed my mother, as I am sure my little brother and sister did as well, I was so thankful to have the time I did with dad before he passed away. We lived in Lethbridge, Canada for a time as he played in a hotel while we stayed in our rooms. School was great. I had to take French in the 3rd grade, as it was a requirement for Canadian schools as most were French-Canadian speaking people. After a year we had to move back to the U.S., and moved to Montana because the Canadian government did not think being a musician was a good enough reason for citizenship. While in Montana my father frequently played his gigs and we would stay with friends. My last memories of my father was him getting sick and falling into the bathtub where he asked me to help him up. The people we were staying with, Corky and Hazel, who also adopted children; usually Indian children from the reservations, told me to leave him in the bathtub and not help him. "He needs to help himself!" Corky shouted. I thought that was the most cruelest thing anyone could say. How could anyone refuse to help someone who was sick? But that wasn't surprising since Hazel told me the same thing when I was having an appendicitis attack by saying, "Put a little June in your walk!" But I will get back to that later. My father soon ended up in the hospital and eventually died on November, 24th or 25th, 1979. Just prior to that, that nimble walk I had, turned out to be bad enough to put me in the hospital as well. Dr.'s soon took action and operated on my appendix while I stayed in recovery at the hospital for about a month. During my stay in the hospital, Corky came to see me. He too, had bad news. "Jacqui, I just wanted to let you know your father died last night. I am sorry about your loss," he said. I became numb once again for the second time in my life. I didn't cry. Of course I did have an annoying tube stuck up my nose with red blood cells oozing from it. That might depress anyone. However, I didn't talk for days. I remember my roommate, who was a college student, had friends coming. One of her friends heard the bad news of my father. The next day my roommate's friend came in and brought me a little pink elephant. I cherished it for years. I don't really recall what ever happened to it however. As the doctor's and nurses assessed my condition, they thought it best to move me into another room so Corky could never see me again. Apparently they did not agree with his telling me my father died while I myself had just had an operation. After I was moved, a cyst formed where the doctor had operated and I was sent back to surgery to remove the infection. This time however, they had to leave the incision open for it to heal. As I continued to stay in the hospital, I was still in shock over hearing the news of my father. Therefore one of my nurses took really good care of me. She would put me in a wheelchair, bundle me up, and take me around the hospital and to her nurses station to sit with her. My middle stomach always hurt, so I kept three of my fingers on my sternum to apply pressure to keep it from hurting so bad. When my doctor saw me he would call me, "Hey, Napoleon Bonapart." I didn't find that funny at the time. Friends from Montana came to visit everyday during my stay and family came from California to take us back after I was better. My brother and sister had already gone back to California while my family was waiting for me to get better so I could ride the train. Eventually I was released from the hospital, yet it still took at least another two-three weeks to recover. My grandmother stayed behind waiting with me in Montana. After I was well enough to travel my grandmother took us home by Amtrak. That was fun. I had to get to the bathroom every ½ hour to clean my wound. That was challenging, with the steadiness of the train...oh wait..with the swishing back and forth. Oh boy.. What an experience! Once back in my seat, I had taken out one of the many presents given to me at the hospital. A Polaroid! I loved it. Then, an annoying child left unattended by their mother came and sat by me. I was OK with that until she/he, don't really remember if it was a boy or girl, at any rate; they stuck their little hand in my bag and pushed my Polaroid camera button and took a picture of the inside of the bag. I was not thrilled. I never said anything, but I wished the mother had kept a better eye on her child because I was in no mood for horseplay, not to mention I was in great pain. But I was patient. I wonder sometimes if that's where I learned patience. We finally arrived at our destination. I was happy to be back in California. I was always good at making new friends so a new school, new town, and new city didn't bother me a bit. Even after having both parents pass away I found myself a very well adjusted child with a positive attitude toward life. Eventually, I met husband # 1 and we fell in love, got married, and had our first child, who is now an up and coming actor with some comedy awards under his belt. His father always knew he'd get into acting, and so the legend continues. Once again however, I was faced with another challenge in life when a drunk driving accident took the life of my first husband. At the time I was pregnant with our daughter who I had one week after the funeral. She was beautiful. Once I looked into her deep blue eyes, I couldn't help but fall in love with her. You see, once my husband died and left me alone to raise two children by myself, I wasn't quite sure how I would feel about her. But a mother's love will always overcome the adverse. And that's what happened. Counselors spoke to me before I took my baby girl home and they knew I had everything under control. My daughter was the most spoiled baby in the nursery because they had all known about the accident. Now you may wonder, how on earth can anyone be put through so much and yet come out so well adjusted? Well, not that it was all wine and roses. But life throw's us curves that sometimes the human spirit just finds a way to cope. Mind you, not everyone copes with death in the same way and some take longer to deal with life's tragedy's than others. Coping has a lot to do with attitude. As I grew up and I would hear of someone's loss of a parent(s), I always felt that their loss was greater than mine. I felt this way because they knew their parents longer than I, and therefore coping might be more difficult. I never felt sorry for myself over my loss. Not that I don't weep once in a while, even while writing this article, or when I think back at the time we had together, I miss them terribly at times, realizing they will never know their grandchildren or what wonderful blessings they have been. But the love my parents showed me while they were a live will last a lifetime and their memories will always be as real as they were back then. As painful as it sometimes is, life does go on after death. What however, can you do for friends who have lost loved ones? What do you say? Sometimes it's better to say nothing at all and just tell them you're sorry for their loss. And just be there...be a friend. And leave when asked, unless their life is in mortal danger. Never say, "I know how you feel." Because the truth be known, unless you have experienced the EXACT same thing in the EXACT same way...you cannot know what they are feeling. This is where your friendship is vital. Ask what you can do or do it without asking. Someone in pain will not always come forward and ask for help..you just have to know to give it. Do their household chores, errands, take care of the kids, do the cooking, etc. This is the type of friendship and comfort people need when coping with death. Spiritual help can be comforting as well, as long as you know what you're saying is accurate and not distorted. So be careful when it comes to Spiritual advise. And for those of you who have lost loved one's like I have, don't despair...life goes on. You may never forget, but it does get easier, but again, not for everyone. And there is still hope for them too. If necessary, seek professional help if life seems too unbearable. Most of all, allow your feelings to be expressed in healthy ways, remember your loved ones and how they made you laugh or cry, keep pictures and letters to reflect back on, visit their grave if that helps, take some time alone but not too long, and know that my heart goes out to all who have lost loved one's to mankind's great enemy; death. |
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May 4th, 2007 @ 8:23PM |
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Imagine a paradise... a paradise divine
No need for hunger or pain...everything sublime
All that you do will be exalted to the full
No one else will take credit, their credit is null
Everything your hand does will reap the benefit
Living in prosperity is life's best element
Imagine a paradise where wild things aim
Never will you tremble for they will be tame
Imagine a child's nature that has no fear
Now this is the paradise that is ever so near
Imagine a paradise that will never fall
That is the best hope on Earth of all
Now you may laugh and squeal in dismay
But once and for all it will happen one day
Imagine a paradise so hopeful and true
Never again will we ever be blue
The bad that has happened will all be forgot
Happiness and good memories will ever be sought
Good friends, good food, and good drink will always be abundant
Never will this paradise be lost or feel redundant
Imagine a paradise ever so aesthetic
The paradise God has so lovingly promised
with all my (agape') love, Jacqui
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April 22nd, 2007 @ 7:09AM |
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Mark David Chapman, the American who notoriously shot and killed former Beatle John Lennon on December 8, 1980, remained at the scene until authorities arrived and arrested the former Beatle fan. Chapman claimed, The Catcher in the Rye, a book written by J.D. Salinger in 1951, would explain his perspective and motivation. Chapman plead guilty to second degree murder before his trial began and, despite being assessed as delusional and possibly psychotic, he was sentenced to 20 years to life. He has been denied parole four times amidst campaigns against his release, and remains incarcerated at Attica State Prison.
As John Lennon's assassin, Chapman came up for parole the first week of October 2004 and later in 2006, Lennon fans had been outraged as some screamed death threats. Having been up for parole twice before, once in 2000.
Had Chapman been released in October, Lennon fans were ready to avenge his death and still are. Web sites devoted to Lennon were being filled with possible threats from around the world promising to take revenge on the 49 year old assassin.
One message reportedly quoted, "If Mark David Chapman is let out of jail, he wouldn't last a day. There are just too many people who want him dead." "Chapman should be executed. I would gladly get rid of him myself," wrote one Finnish man.
Chapman, now 51, 52 in May, who still serves a life sentence for the murder of legendary ex-Beatle John Lennon at Attica, for his own safety lives away from the populous because of the constant threats by prison inmates.
Lennon, who was 40 at the time was gunned down by Chapman that Dec. in 1980 after returning home from a late-night recording session that Lennon attended with his wife, Yoko Ono.
Executive Director of the Correctional Association of New York Robert Gangi stated, "People like Chapman who commit high-profile violent crimes, no matter what their prison record is like, will never see the light of day as long as the crime is present in our memories, and this one is," he said.
This comment coming in 2004, after parole officials would not clarify the chances for Chapman's chances of his being paroled. Since Chapman's incarceration he has spent 26 years in prison.
Other high profile murder cases such as those like the Manson family have been denied parole approximately 15 times for their notorious killings of Sharon Tate and others in the 1960's.
Lennon's widow, Yoko has sworn with everything in her power she will do whatever it takes to keep her husband's killer behind bars. It's also suspected that the late George Harrison who died Nov. 2001, Ringo Starr, and Paul McCartney, would not support Mark's release.
During a Court TV documentary with journalist Jack Jones, he described the mind of Chapman. Jones explained to the audience that Chapman was a sociopath and expresses, "Maybe once you are a sociopath, you are always a sociopath to some degree."
The prison has not diagnosed Chapman with any type of mental condition, however he has refused to undergo any therapy and will not take any medications.
Chapman told Jones that though he had been healed of a severe depression by his fervent Christian beliefs. Formerly a fan of the Beetles, Chapman emerged from a life of drugs and idol worship and devoted his life to Christianity.
Chapman at one time remarked, "The Beetles are more popular than Jesus Christ." The song, "Imagine" contains the phrase, "Imagine there's no heaven." This deeply affected Chapman and offended his Christian identity. "Subconsciously, adds Jones, "I'm certain he began to plot John Lennon's death at that time, a full decade before he murdered the rock legend."
After speaking with Chapman extensively and taking six years to gain Mark's trust, Jones said he's neither for or against his release, although Jones believes Mark would not ever kill another human being again.
Jones confidently stated that after knowing Chapman for 16 years he is able to make this assumption about Chapman because of Marks confessed eternal regret and possible self damnation. Chapman refused his attorney's efforts in his case to plead insanity and opted to plead guilty.
Jones believed the arguments Mark's parents had as he was growing up had a profound affect on Chapman's ability for a normal development. Which is why Mark killed John because he was going through some type of internal "nuclear rage."
Jones explains in his book that Mark was internalizing his rage for his parents. If he would have had a nuclear weapon he would have used it. Mark reasoned with himself that if he killed Lennon, he could inflict pain on millions of Beetle fans all over the world.
According to Jones, Chapman has a fragility about him, and if one took the time to get to know him, Mark is a disarmingly likable person. Other than the fact that he's the man who killed John Lennon.
Regardless of the feelings on both sides of the scope, Lennon fans will never forget the loss of one of the most gifted and talented singer/song writers who ever lived.
If you listen to John Lennon's song, Imagine; the verse, 'Imagine there's no heaven,' refers to people living in peace on Earth without worrying about making it to Heaven, because peace can be for those on Earth as well, if you only have faith.
"Imagine all the people living for today, imagine all the people living life in peace, no need for greed or hunger sharing all the world. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one." -John Lennon. |
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April 15th, 2007 @ 3:41AM |
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Once on a beautiful summer day, out on a beach in San Diego, I saw something slithering under a rock. I walked a bit closer to see what it was, and to my surprise, it was a little baby octopus. It was stuck on shore in the mud. It was the coolest thing I had ever seen. Another couple helped me move the rock so I could pick it up and hold the little sea monster. As I picked it up, I scooped some wet mud in my hands, along with the little black sea creature. It slithered in my hands for a while. As I watched the tentacles waving in the air like little whips, he seemed so helpless. Once we experienced the great creation of the sea and played with the little guy a bit, I walked him down to the ocean and placed him on top of the water. I watched him spread his long legs while he tread the water and headed out to sea. It was the coolest thing to me!
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April 11th, 2007 @ 8:44PM |
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 John Walsh, host of America's Most Wanted explained in an interview at the 2002 Business Leadership Summit in Stockton, CA about the heartache and frustration he and his wife endured from the death of their son, Adam, before starting the well-known TV show AMW. Walsh told of how they were affected by the ordeal of losing thier son to a child predator and how his business suffered as a consequence. During the course of the Walsh's suffering a known coroner of the Walsh family encouraged John to help others in his position. The friend told Walsh not to allow little Adam's death to make him a victim of his own unfortunate circumstance. Walsh has come a long way since that tragic day in helping others by capturing the fugitives who have hurt other families. AMW has merged thier efforts with the FBI as well. In the interium, Walsh opened up a new business at 30 Rockerfeller Center in New York supporting the creation of DNA evidence kits. The DNA kits were endorsed by Walsh when a Miami Beach Homicide Detective, Joe Matthews, used this method to catch a killer. Matthews came to Walsh years ago and asked him to air the story on America's Most Wanted. The case dealt with a baby who had been beaten to death apparently by his mother however, the police were having a hard time proving it. After some tips came in, the evidence pointed to the mother as being the killer. The mother was finally caught and sent to prison. Fingerprinting use to be the ideal evidence kit that helped in identifying bodies. However, when bodies are found decomposing, it is already past the point of using the finger print method. These DNA kits have become the fingerprint of the future for crime detectives and scientists alike. Even a defective gene can be found and eradicated in order to prevent certain undesirable and adverse health affects. For example, a women who has a family history of breast cancer can use this source of science to find the defective gene early enough to be treated. In recent times, detectives and police agencies have found it beneficial to understand the publics concern for cooperation in the field of public service. Though Walsh experienced uncooperative and unsuccessful detective work in his own case with Adam, especially how the police had treated his wife, John believes there are plenty of good law enforcement and police agencies that perform a beneficial service to the public. After 9-11, city officials realized they needed to pay their police more, while giving civilians a reason to gain a deeper respect for law enforcement. One suggestion Walsh made to encourage cities was to raise the pay scale for their law enforcement and stated, "If we can pay football players $10 million to be arrested every weekend, we should be able to pay cops a decent salary to fight crime," he said. Walsh's TV series has continued to be a great community service as fugitives continue to be captured by the viewing publics tips. One of AMW fugitives still at large, Robert William Fisher, is wanted for killing his family. Fisher then set his house on fire to cover up his crime. He was later shown on video camera at an ATM machine withdrawing money. Coined fugitive, "Public Enenmy # One," Fisher later abandoned his wife's car and dog which was found by law enforcement. Updates, stories, and recent crimes can be viewed on the AMW website www.amw.com. The viewing public can also phone in crime tips for AMW at 1-800-crime-tv. For further information in helping law enforcement catch criminals, visit the FBI's website at http://www.fbi.gov. |
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June 24th, 2006 @ 10:56PM |
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